to say that I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired would be the biggest flippin understatement of the year.
Reblog if you’re single as fuck
(Source: livefastdierich, via enteejameela)
Can I just say
I fucking hate guys..& no they don’t ever grow up. Thanks for playing with my emotions this past year- I’ve totally enjoyed trying to decipher what the fuck you were thinking/feeling. Oh and yes I would totally love to change our date for the second time so that all your friends can tag along…because I was totally going for a friend hang out sesh when I asked YOU to hang out. Oh and No, I will not be joining you on this changed arrangement because I don’t want to hang out with all your friends and a drunk you in a seedy bar.grrrr I’m sick of men, yes I say men because I usually date guys considerably older than me that SHOULD have their shit together- sadly they don’t, I had my shit together when I was 12, grow the fuck up.
I graduate in less than 8 hours.
and I am already crying. I have been highly emotional these past few weeks and I don’t even know why. Anxiety kicked in about a month ago, trying to wrap everything up for school, job searching, grad school searching, finals, saying goodbye. I have spent all day every day for the past 5 years on that campus and it all ended so insignificantly, with a final in a class that I could care less about, with a professor I didn’t know existed until this past semester. Saying goodbye to my favorite professors really hit hard because I have spent soooooo many hours in their classrooms, joking with them, walking with them after class, visiting them during random office hours or other classes that I wasn’t taking. These three professors have shaped my future so tremendously and I don’t even know how to begin to thank them for that. Walking across that stage tomorrow, to receive an empty folder that will eventually weeks-possibly even months from now, hold my diploma is supposed to be a sigh of relief, a huge leap into career world, but it feels so intimidating. One: grades won’t be posted until a week or two after graduation- WHAT IF I FAILED A CLASS- this isn’t likely since I’m usually on Deans list, but WHAT IF?!! Two: have you looked at the job market lately, even with my credentials it will be nearly impossible to land the job I want anytime soon unless I a) join the military as an officer, or b)go directly to grad school. My brain has been on a constant shuffle,like a news ticker batting a million things back and forth making me more depressed and anxious than excited and hopeful. I feel like I need a tall glass of tranquility, some prayers answered from God, and most importantly a reason to be able to take deep breaths…sigh.
I am highly emotional today, everything is finally sinking in. Next week I will be going to class on this campus for the last time…ever. I will not be returning here for grad school,I will only be returning for an occasional visit to my favorite professors. On that note, I will never have classes with these professors ever again, 3 of whom I’ve become extremely close to, who have been very influential in my degree and have mentored me through these past 4 years (most of my classes have been with these 3). I will never be sitting in this library studying for hours, creeping on the Saudis to see how much of their conversation I can pick up, running into professors that are more like friends again. And that’s just the graduation aspect of my emotions…
My best friend, the only friend who has stuck with me through everything is getting married in 2 months. It’s not like shes moving far away (I’m the one most likely to do that), but she lives about 45 minutes out of the city and I rarely see her anymore as it is. For about the past year or two we’ve only gotten together about once every 2 or 3 months because she spends the majority of her free time with her fiance, which is cool because I’m always busy with school BUT I think that friend time is going to dwindle even more once she’s married.
I guess what I’m feeling is that I’m going to be losing an awful lot of people in these next few months, and god forbid if I can’t find a job within driving distance and I have to move to DC or NY, I’ll be losing my family too.
ahh in through the nose, out through the mouth…I’ve never had anxiety problems until these past couple of weeks (or at least I haven’t been as aware of them). :/
I graduate in 2 weeks
panic attack mode to the max. did i really rsvp to walk in the ceremony (i really think i did)? is this professor going to grade this 12 pg paper like a dbag? am i going to find a job? will i find a good grad school? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i’ve never felt anxiety this extreme before and its killing me. i’m seriously on the edge of my seat shaking constantly!
Rant.
Did this bitch for real just grade my 2CREDIT WORLD CIV INDIA test harder than my 4CREDIT GRAD classes because I didn’t write her class notes word for word for my answers on her test (which are all done on the board [no books or powerpoints] IN BROKEN ENGLISH) man oh man I’ve never needed to use ratemyprofessor but holy cow(pun intended) I should’ve checked on this bitch before I decided to take this class my FINAL SEMESTER… she better not screw me over for this stupidity or I will for sure be taking my matters to the department.
i hate that Facebookers are now finding out about Pinterest, and that all my lousy fb friends are following my pins.
